By choice or by chance.

“No one falls in love by choice, it is by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it is by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice."

I hate the me I am now. I hate how we were so right for each other there and then. I hate how I walked the same road. I hate how I love the places we went before. I hate how you you had so much impact on me yet I'm just another girl for you. I thought I found the one. But somehow the one didn't think I was the right one. I hope you know it hurts real bad. I hope you know that I'll take a knife to my heart and make sure it stop for you. Because this is what you want. I'll make sure I do.

I'm trying. To the best I can and one day, I will finally be okay. But the one day is not today. Today I had fun. It was fun. Went back in times, back to beer fest, back to where we have yet to start. I went back to where we had dinner, where you bought me over just because I was craving for it. I went back to find the happy me even without you. But I couldn't. Even at the end of this day, I felt lost and unsatisfied. Why weren't you there with me? Why do you have to leave me when I needed you the most? 

If you think this is the best for us, please don't. It's only good for you. And if this is bad, you haven't seen the worst to come of me.