Be an adult, they say. It'll be fun, they said.
Reach the points of no return. As I open my eyes to the day of being freed from education, freed from the allowance days, freed from the well protection bubble, sigh. If only I can stop at being 18. I guess I'm afraid. I'm scared by the thought of my future, so bleak, so uncertain. I'm doubtful about the amount of knowledge I've thus far, I'm doubtful if I will be able to make it out to the world.
Most of it, I'm overwhelm by the thought of being alone.
It scares me so much that I began to push people away first even before I got pushed. I just don't want my chest to hurt anymore. I don't want to cry alone in my bed and have nobody to cry for help to. I don't want to be pathetic. I don't want to be the one everyone can take advantage for and then threw me away to one side anymore. I don't want to seek. I want to be sought for. I want to be remembered. I want to be important. I want to smile for the rest of my life. I want to be alive.
........ It's ok. As if anyone cares.
