You want out. You want to breathe.

It was just a cycle of getting suffocated where eventually you had to decide whether you wanted to stay, or to breathe. 

At first, you try to hold on with everything you have, but like sand he slips through your fingers and you know there's nothing you could do. You cannot stop it. So you do the only sensible, the only right thing there is to do: You let go.

Remain as friends, he say. But you'll never forget the pain because unlike him, you still have feelings for him. When you saw him for the first time after the break up, it feels like shattering glass in your heart. You've pulled yourself together, only to see him again another day and fell apart once more.

Watching your partner fall out of love with you is the worst. You'll never get closure. There's no big fight, no bad feelings prior between you. Instead, there's nothing.

And you cannot blame him because in the end, the problem could just lies within.

With nothing, you carried on the cycle of suffocation. Not knowing what to do, not knowing where the next destination and ultimately, not knowing how to lead your life or worst, live in self denial.

You need to decide that you wanted to breathe. And constantly remind yourself the last thing you know: he stopped loving you.