I’m not someone I’d want to be with.

"As I got older, I had to live in images. Started living with an outlined face and body layered upon me by an huge overhead projector lit by the sun. Staying with me constantly, reminding me and everyone else of what I was not." - Pretty Amy; Lisa Burstein 

 Everyone likes to feel special, doesn't it? 

It's in a girl to dream, to fantasize and to want a happily ever after... until reality strikes us. However, even with such harsh and dreams-crushing reality, why is it that we treat love as some life's destiny? What if we were meant to be alone after all, I mean we came to life alone, we die alone, isn't it? What's with the go through many heart-breaking mission in order to find the right one who probably is not going stay with you forever since nothing last forever. No, I'm not saying that I don't want love. I'm just saying that why try too hard when people always say "What's meant to be yours, will be yours." or "The right one will come along at the right time." or any other similar quotes, well you get what i mean. 

If that's how life is, then everyone just play the waiting game! ... no ? 

Then again, coming back to the title. I believe my inner demons of depression and anxiety are not things I feel like putting on someone. I have seen them destroy relationship after relationship. I’m an emotional eater. I avoid confrontation to the point of self destruction. I do all kinds of things in the privacy of my own home that would have to be hidden or swept under the rug, done when someone wasn't looking. Thus, I'm not someone I'd want to be with. Saying from experience of being together with myself for like 19 odd years? haha yes that's the verdict. Hey, if you found time to read till here, congratulations, you have wasted minutes of your life looking at something very ridiculous that I just feel like ranting. 

Waiting for photos to be transferred to me for the next post. Gonna be food again! :D 

Till then, Adeus xx.